Causes of impotence in men & low sex desire in lady
. Psychological stress & anxiety
. Bad previous experience about sex -
Girl might have got raped, sexual abuse, molestation, etc or she might have been cheated in love affair
. Fear of sexually transmitted disease(STD)
Why foreplay is so important?
Both partners should like each other ( physically & emotionally) to have good sex. Initially get introduced to each others sex organs. Remember ladies like if partner cares & shows affection. Touch sex organs. Cuddling is important
Foreplay is the beginning of sexual intercourse. This is as important as warm-up before exercise. It should be done in a proper way & for adequate duration. Both partners should be comfortable, relaxed & stress-free. Before starting sex, wash genitals with soap. Ideally this should be done daily so that genitals will be clean. Pubic hair should be shaved / trimmed. Clean genitals attracts partner. Men should retract prepuce ( foreskin at tip of penis covering glans penis) & remove smegma ( accumulated secretions). This reduces risk of penile cancer. Circumsized men have low risk of penile cancer.
Start at the top ( lips- hot wet kisses, breast), then go down. Keep saying to yourself that you are going to have good stormy sex. If one thinks positive, he can do better sex. Don't distract yourself. Avoid phone calls, etc. Remember that sex starts at brain level & hormones, chemicals then make body work accordingly. Talk sexy with partner. Tell what you expect from him. Tell when you feel good, which part he should kiss, etc. This will excite partner. If you divert attention, you may lose erection
Precautions to take before kissing
. Before kissing, brush properly.
. Use tongue cleaner to clean tongue
. Use chlorhexidine, betadine mouthwash.
. Avoid smoking, alcohol drinking.
. Avoid eating garlic, onion as this can give foul smell to breath.
. Eat mint or scented souf
. One shouldn't have gingivitis as this can give foul smell to mouth. Use gum tone powder to strengthen gums.
Kissing & hugging are one of the best ways to express love. Never miss a chance to kiss partner. Its one of the best ways to express love. Kiss & hug conveys love signals (message). Kiss as long as you can. Mouth to mouth kisses, French kisses, kissing at thighs, neck, shoulders, below umbilicus are really exciting. After this, undress each other. Massage each others body using scented oil. Its very exciting & romantic
Then start oral sex. One can safely suck vagina & penis which is clean without fear of any sexually transmitted disease provided partner is reliable & healthy. If partner is a stranger, use condom for penis & vagina as risk of sexually transmitted disease exists with oral sex. This is due to minor cuts present in oral cavity. Oral sex can be made extremely pleasurable if both partner know how to do it. Lips, tongue should be used effectively for oral sex. A man should touch clitoris with tongue. Lady should suck penis & scrotum both
Precautions to take before handling sex organs
Breasts (nipples & areola) are very sensitive due to rich nerve supply. Handle female sex organs carefully. Remember that before touching breasts, your hands should be warm. Touching breasts can be painful especially during premenstrual period. Vulva & vagina are very sensitive due to rich nerve supply.
Same is true for man's genitalia. Testes are very sensitive & shouldn't be pulled forcefully. Penis fracture can occur during vigorous intercourse & it becomes emergency. Surgery may be needed. It can lead to penile curvatures & permanent impotence
Read more about premenstrual syndrome at-
Menstrual Cycle Problems- Premenstrual Syndrome -PMS – Causes, Symptoms & Treatment
Once these are stimulated, she will get good secretions. Vagina takes time to get wet. Once it gets wet, lady is yours. A good foreplay stimulates vaginal secretions as it has direct action on hypothalamus & pituitary. Vaginal secretions act as lubricants and thus lady will have less pain during actual penetration. Lesser the pain, more cooperative will be the lady, better will be her hip (pelvis) movements & she will achieve orgasm. If secretions are less, use gels. Xylocaine gel gives lubrication & reduces pain. Remember that 1st intercourse is very painful. So be patient & slow during honeymoon. If lady remembers this pain, she may develop vaginismus i.e. involuntary contraction of vagina even before penetration & sex becomes difficult. As time passes, vagina gets adjusted & pain reduces. If lady doesn't get adequate secretions, use vaginal gels for lubrication.
Remember that orgasm gives sexual satisfaction for lady. Ejaculation alone does not gives sexual satisfaction for lady. After intercourse & ejaculation, don't withdraw penis immediately. Let it be inside vagina for some time. She will feel better. Keep on kissing her neck & ear lobes
. Remember that penis size is not an important factor to satisfy a lady. Average penis gets sufficiently large after erection. Its the way how one performs the sex is important
What to do if sex becomes boring?
This may happen after a few years of marriage. Common reasons are-
1. Similar methods used during foreplay
2. Couple needs change of environment
3. Day to day life stress
4. Change perfumes. Have bath together with bath salts & essential oils. Everyone likes to hug a partner with good fragrance. Burn scented candles. This starts the fire in body
5. Change locations where you have sex. Change bedroom arrangement. Bedroom should be clean & neat
6. Have a bath together. Massage each other using good oils. Create good environment. Decorate bed with rose, jasmine flowers. Use nice color bedspreads & scented candles. Play good romantic music
Go for a tour. Take your wife to good hotels, picnic spots, etc. Everybody needs a change. Just don't make her sit inside house & kitchen. Take her for shopping. Buy lingerie for her. Give surprise gifts like dress, perfumes to her on birthdays, marriage anniversaries. Never forget her birthday, marriage anniversary. Remember that you should keep her happy & healthy. Enquire about her health, if she has any problem in house, at work place & help her to solve her problems
. Try changing positions during sexual intercourse. A lot of books are available. One can consult a sexologist. This will add spices to your sex life
. Discuss problems with partner. Lady shouldn't be shy. Ask her to be bold & take lead
. Play some games like playing cards, badminton together
Various positions during sexual intercourse are
. Missionary positions (man above lady)
. Doggy positions
. Lady above man-
This position stimulates clitoris in a better way & lady achieves orgasm.
. Don't try each & every position mentioned on internet. For these positions, body has to be very flexible
Sex Toys
. Various vibrators & stimulators are available to increase sensations during sex. These are useful in bringing variety & adding spice to sex life. Clean vibrators properly before using to avoid any infections
. Sexual fantasies are sometimes useful to get out of routine
. Masturbation
Self stimulation by girl herself is needed sometimes to achieve orgasm
What is orgasm?
Orgasm is the feeling of immense sexual sensations and pleasure. Read more about G spot, clitoral stimulation, etc
Issues related to condom
1. Nowadays variety of condoms are available- scented, dotted, ultrathin, extra-tight, etc. condom can be combined with spermicidal gels to decrease chances of pregnancy. condom can be combined with lubricant gels.
Condom does reduces sensations & sexual pleasure which one get during sexual intercourse. So many couples (especially newly married) don’t prefer condom. In such cases, couples can go for oral contraceptive pills. In a young lady who is newly married, oral contraceptive pills are very safe and reliable.
2. If you wear a condom; you get protected against sexually transmitted diseases ( STD’s) like syphilis, gonorrhoea, urethritis, trichomoniasis, candiasis. Condom will protect you unless and until it gets torn.
3. If condom gets torn, it loses the reliability about contraception for that particular time. In such case, the lady should take post-coital pill ( PCP). PCP is also known as emergency contraceptive (EC). PCP should be taken within 3 days of the sexual intercourse but preferably within 12 hours of sexual intercourse.
4. Various varieties of condom are available. Thin, ultrathin, etc. These are designed with the purpose of maintaining sexual sensations and pleasure.
5. condom can be used during oral sex
Don't be too aggressive while having sex. Handle your lady carefully. Sex organs are delicate. Don't compare yourself with porn movies in which penis is shown as very large with some photographic technique. Average size penis is sufficient to satisfy a lady
Kegel's exercises for delaying premature ejaculation
Kegel's exercises strengthen pubococcygeus muscle & pelvic floor muscles. This helps in delaying premature ejaculation in men & improving vaginal tightness in lady. If vagina is tight, it holds penis tightly & gives more pleasure to man
premature ejaculation is seen in about 50% of men some or the other time. Many a times, its due to anxiety & gets relieved with proper relaxation techniques. In some cases, medicines are needed
. Both partners should love each other & have mutual trust. This helps in reducing problems like impotence. Lady should feel emotionally closer to man. Don't be shy. Be bold & express your feelings
. Keep weight in control. Obese people have difficulty doing sex. They can't perform all positions.
. Be active. Do yoga which keeps body flexible
Health benefits of sex
. It burns a lot calories & helps in maintaining one's waistline smaller
. Sex reduces risk of heart attack
. Couple should have mutual trust & excellent understanding to solve sex related issues. Sex therapist consultation may be necessary in some cases
To avoid sex related problems, sex education should be included in school syllabus after 8th std. This will also help in reducing incidence of sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis, gonorrhea, etc. In most of the Indian families, parents don't talk about sex.
. Avoid getting over-weight. It will make sex difficult
Sex education is not included as a part of school curriculum in many countries. Actually it should be included after 8th standard syllabus. This will help in reducing teenage pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases which occur as many teenagers are curious & do intercourse for enjoyment without knowing what will be the effects of it. For enjoyment, they may visit prostitutes, call girls & suffer from sexually transmitted diseases
Problems related to teenage sex
. Teenage is common in developed European countries. At the age of 12-13, sex organs are not fully developed & mature. Teenage pregnancies, abortions have become a major problem in developed European countries. It leads to socioeconomic burden on nation
. sexually transmitted diseases like chlamydia, gonorrhea, etc can affect male & female genital organs (fallopian tubes, epididymitis) & lead to infertility, etc.
. sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis causes genital ulcers on penis & vulva (female genitals). syphilis affects other organs also e.g. eye (choroiditis, uveitis, iritis), brain (nervous tissue).
. Teenagers see blue films due to curiosity & this leads to many misunderstandings about sex, size of sex organs, etc. Ignorance leads to all these problems. This can lead to problems in sex life like premature ejaculation, etc. Teenagers may think that penis size is smaller & use wrong techniques to enlarge penis size. Actually penis size has nothing to do with sexual satisfaction. Proper foreplay & methods of intercourse (positions, etc) will help one achieve orgasm
Sex shouldn’t be done casually. In developed European countries, parents do tell children about Sex education, physical changes occurring in body during puberty. In developing countries, parents don’t tell children about Sex education, physical changes occurring in body during puberty, etc. So in developing countries, Sex education must be included as a part of school curriculum. This will make parents job easier. Textbooks must include chapters about Sex education, physical changes occurring in body during puberty, sexually transmitted diseases, condoms, etc. Adolescent sexual health is very important. Healthy youngsters play an important role in nation's economy.
In developing countries, Sex is not considered as an important part of life. Parents rarely discuss it with children.
During orgasm, both men & women get excited & multiple waves of happiness pass throughout the body. Various chemicals are released in brain which make a person very happy. Adequate physical rest & stressfree mind are essential to have good intercourse & achieve orgasm with sexual satisfaction. Adequate physical rest & stressfree mind gives good long-lasting erection in men & produces good vaginal secretions in women. Stress leads to problems like premature ejaculation & frigility in women. Drugs like viagra provide long-lasting erection but these are needed for men who have some problem with erection due to aging or diabetes, atherosclerosis, etc. Generally these are not needed for young men
Studies have proven that people who have sex regularly live longer & have less chances of death due to heart attacks. This is due to following reasons-
1. Intercourse helps in burning a lot of calories & this prevents one from becoming obese (overweight).
2. Intercourse acts as a stress buster. Health experts & sexologists recommend to have intercourse at least once or twice a week after age of forty years depending on lifestyle & 2-3 times or more a week when person is less than 40 years
Physical fitness plays an important role in quality of intercourse. A couple who is active physically & does regular exercise will have flexible bodies & can perform better during intercourse than a couple who is not active physically. A couple with flexible bodies can try different positions during intercourse & will have better hip & waist movements. Different sex positions have been designed which help in achieving orgasm in men & women. Clitoris & G spot are supposed to play an important role in achieving orgasm in women. Men should know where Clitoris & G spot are located & how to stimulate these 2 sensitive areas in a woman's body
Physical fit Partners will not feel tired during intercourse. Regular exercise, swimming, jogging & even dancing helps in maintaining fitness. Excess fat reduces testosterone (male sex hormone).
obese (overweight) people who are above 50 years of age should be careful during intercourse. Vigorous intercourse can excite them too much & this can induce heart attacks. This happens due to excess stimulation of heart. People who already have history of heart attacks & chest pain should be extra careful & should avoid Vigorous intercourse. Some people with compromised heart function have died due to heart attacks during intercourse. Such people should avoid drugs like viagra which provide long-lasting erection & other aphrodisiac drugs (sexually stimulating drugs)
Couple who has healthy sexual relations generally has good overall relationship though exceptions do exist. Both partners should take efforts to understand each other's likes & dislikes as far as sex is concerned. This also applies to other aspects of life. This helps in developing a healthy relationship. Discussion between partners is very important. They should tell each other openly what they like during foreplay, etc.e.g. Lady may like if man touches breast or clitoris. So she should tell her man.
Certain foods stimulate one & increases sex desire. Such foods are-
. Avocado fruit - Shape of cut section of the fruit resembles vagina (female sex organ).
. Chocolates
. Ginseng in men
. Strawberry
. Pomegranate in men -
Pomegranate contains a lot of antioxidants & substances which improve blood flow to penis. This helps in achieving good erection
. Horny goat weed
. Tomato
. Banana- Its shape resembles that of penis
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